Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Twelve Rational Reasons Why Same-sex Marriages Will Ruin Society and Should Be Constitutionally Outlawed

Proud to be a Gay AmericanAlthough variations of this list have been around for a while, the arguments are still the same. Let’s review:

1. Homosexuality is not natural. (Like immunizations, birth control and taxes - these unnatural things have no place in our society. If it is different from what I wish to consider normal, then I will call it unnatural.)

2. Only heterosexual marriages are valid because only they can produce children. (This is why we do not allow infertile couples and old people to marry. And fertility testing is required before heterosexual couples are allowed to marry in order to comply with the ‘one child policy’.)

3. Gay parents will only end up raising gay children. (Just as straight parents only raise straight children.)

4. Same-sex marriage will tarnish the institution of marriage. (Just as Britney Spears' two-day ‘just for fun’ marriage. Or popular TV shows ‘Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire’, ‘The Bachelor’, and ‘Who Wants to Marry My Dad’ condones marrying complete strangers for game show fame and money.)

5. Heterosexual marriage is traditional. (That's why women are still property and can't vote. And why Blacks are kept as slaves and are not allowed to marry.)

6. Same-sex marriage is an issue that should be decided by people, not the courts. (Because ‘the People’, not the courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities, just ask Native Americans, African-Americans and Asian-Americans.)

7. Same-sex marriage is not supported by religious teachings. (In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. This is why we only have one religion in America.)

8. Same-sex marriage will only encourage straight people to be gay. (In the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.)

9. Legalizing same-sex marriage will open the door for all kinds of perverted behaviors, like people marrying their pets. (Because dogs and cats are recognized as citizens and can legally sign contracts and marriage licenses.)

10. Children cannot grow up to be functioning adults without both male and female role models at home. (This is why it is illegal for single parents to live with their children.)

11. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better. (‘Separate but Equal’ institutions are always constitutional. Separate schools, lunch counters and water fountains worked for African-Americans. It will work just as well as separate marriages for homosexuals.)

12. Homosexuality is a lifestyle choice that does not merit special rights of marriage. (Being gay-bashed, called ‘faggot’, and ostracized by family, friends and church is a fabulous choice for expressing your identity and who you love. Other protected lifestyle choices such as Baptist, Catholic or Republican are just not challenging enough.)


Jess said...

Yup. I really can't understand how so many people thing bigotry and discrimination are acceptable.

Anonymous said...

I had to steal it from your blog, hope you don't mind :-p

Steve said...


That gave me a good laugh.

Emma said...

I never really understood why people wanted to outlaw gay marriage until I read this list. Now it makes perfect sense! We must protect the sanctity of all the heterosexual 55-hour just-for-fun marriages!

Anonymous said...

Excellent post!

It's websites and blogs like yuour that are helping to chnage things for the better.

Slowy ( sometimes TOO slowly!)..... we are winning!!

Furmen Sakume said...

Reblogged. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I am going to comment on each of your reasons in order and prove to you why you're completely wrong in your way of thinking.
1. taxes and birth control may not be natural, but is it hurting anything? who are you to say what is natural? you're a nobody.
2. Having gay partners in this world makes adoption easier. We would have thousands more children in need of adoption if gay couples werent aloud
3.whether or not gay parents raise gay children, you are in no place to judge them. Gay people are more sociable and accepting according to studies. I know many gay parents who have raised perfectly straight kids and vise versa.
4. same sex marriages havent put a dent on society. whether theyre legal or not, people will choose to live out their sexual orientation the way they would like.
5. first of all, if youre still living in that era, clearly youre intelligence is severly weak. Women and black people are smarter than you from the looks of it. you have unintelligent opinions that will get you nowhere in life
6. If same sex marriage should be decided by the people, "people" should rule that stupid people like you deserve capital punishment
7. religion contradicts itself in more ways than anything else. If youre using religion to back up your claims, it will also prove you wrong
8. that doesnt even make sense. that hasnt ever happened. youre just dumb
9. whats perverted about same sex marriages? please tell me that. marrying pets has nothing to do with same sex marriage
10. if children cant grow up to function without both a male and a female role, what about children who have widowed parents??
11. you seem pretty different. i think we should isolate you just like the african americans and make you a slave.
12. youre the scum of the earth. youre a nobody. youre inconsiderate, repulsive, and a "faggot".

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