Valentine's Day Hardware Shopping

Have you done your Valentine's Day shopping yet? Saw this picture on a Tumblr photo site.

I love going to hardware stores and cruising up and down the aisles with my shopping cart. You never know when you might find something useful or a helpful person.

Aisle 15 of this Homo Depot sounds very intriguing: Lubricants, Ropes, Chains, Screws and Tie-Downs.

Happy Valentine's Day

I'm 'bound' to win you...You've made me captive.

'House' my chance to 'nail' you

My Husband Rocks

Happy Birthday (Feb 10th) to my husband, Eddie, who totally rocks with the sexy Buddy Holly look in his 1969 senior high school picture. 


Here are some classic Buddy Holly record album covers. Buddy Holly died at the age of 22 on Feb 3, 1959 in a small airplane crash along with Ritchie Valens and J. P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson. The Don McLean song "American Pie" immortalizes that tragedy as "the day the music died." 
Holly is remembered as "the single most influential creative force in early rock and roll." 

Redefining "Traditional" Marriage in California

Today the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals ruled Proposition 8 unconstitutional. Their decision upholds a lower court's findings that anti-gay bigotry was behind Prop. 8. I think it is time to repost my 2008 summary of 150 Years of Redefining Marriage in California.

[Updated] Today’s so called “protect marriage” advocates have a naively nostalgic view of the history of marriage and how "traditional" marriage has never been redefined. In reality, the legal and societal recognition of marriage has changed and evolved quite a bit over time to include the equal rights of women and racial equality. Soon, I hope, it will include recognition of all loving couples, male/female, male/male and female/female that seek to be legally married.

The California marriage battle has been going on for over a 150 years. Here is a brief history.


The definition of Marriage in California first changed to support women's rights:
Beginning with statehood, women of California began pushing suffrage. Suffrage meant more then just the right to vote. It was a demand for equality under the law; property rights, guardianship of their children, and access to education. Many saw this as a threat to the traditional institution of marriage. In 1893, state legislature approved suffrage for women but the governor vetoed bill as unconstitutional.
A statewide referendum for suffrage was overwhelming defeated in 1896.

Many churches and religious organizations were against woman’s suffrage. To many it signified nothing less than a radical and revolutionary change in our whole social system. It was an assault upon the Family as the social unit based on radically false theory of civil and political rights. It would hurt children and weaken marriages. It was truly a “reform against nature.”

Finally in 1911, male voters approved full women's suffrage. California women were finally beginning to be treated as equals in a marriage.

The definition of Marriage in California next changed to support minority rights:
Anti-miscegenation laws were laws that prohibited the intermarriage and sometimes interracial sex of white people and people of different races.
The first California law prohibiting marriages was in 1880. California legislature prohibited the issuance of licenses for marriage between a white person and "a Negro, mulatto (mixed ancestry of black and white), or Mongolian (yellow or Chinese)."
The Japanese were added by special legislation in 1909 to the list of those barred from marrying whites.

Gunjiro Aoki, a Japanese man, was engaged to Helen Gladys Emery, daughter of the archdeacon of San Francisco's Grace Church. The union, touted to be the first interracial Japanese/Caucasian marriage in California, so infuriated local politicians that an emergency session was called in the Assembly to specifically keep the wedding from happening. In order to get married, the couple boarded a train and kept traveling north. At every stop, hordes of people would try to stop their progress. Gunjiro and Helen were finally married by the mayor of Seattle.

In 1933, California legislature quickly added “Malays (Filipinos)” as forbidden from marrying whites.

Salvador Roldan challenged the anti-miscegenation law in California on the basis that Filipinos are of the “Malay” race. Roldan won permission to marry his white fiancé. Unfortunately, two months later the Senate amended the anti-miscegenation statute to include the “Malay” race, and all previous marriages between Filipinos and Whites are declared void. The California legislature responded by continually to broaden the prohibition of marriage between whites and any group of Asian Americans.

Finally in 1948, the California Supreme Court (activist judges??) ruled in “Perez vs. Sharp,” against the state’s anti-miscegenation laws, stating that they were based on racial distinctions that were "by their very nature, odious to a free people".

Andrea Perez, daughter of Mexican immigrants, fell in love with Sylvester Davis, an African American man. The couple was denied a marriage license by a Los Angeles County clerk. Ms Perez filed suit. This was the first time a state Supreme Count found an anti-miscegenation law unconstitutional.

Ten years later in 1958, the first Gallup poll conducted on the subject of interracial marriage revealed that 94% of whites still opposed it. Interracial marriage was considered to be a threat to the traditional institution of marriage. In fact, it wasn't until 1997 that a majority of Americans supported the freedom for interracial couples to marry.

Will marriage change to support the rights of same-sex couples?
Up until 1974 same-sex intimacy was a crime in California.
In 1977, the California Civil Code is amended to define marriage as "a personal relation arising out of a civil contract between a man and a woman, to which the consent of the parties capable of making that contract is necessary."
There wasn't a single law recognizing the relationships of same-sex couples until 1984 when the Berkeley School District passed the first one.

Dianne Feinstein, mayor of San Francisco at the time, vetoed an early version of a domestic-partner law in 1982 under intense pressure from the Catholic Church. It was not until 1990 and on its fifth attempt that San Francisco finally passed a domestic-partner law.

In 2000, Proposition 22 passed by 61% to 39%. It added a one-sentence section to the Family Code explicitly defining the union of a man and a woman as the only valid or recognizable form of marriage in the State of California.

The State of California passed in 2003 the first comprehensive domestic partner policy in the United States that was created by a legislature without court intervention. The policy went into effect in 2005.
In 2005 and 2007, the California legislature passed a same-sex marriage bill. Both times Governor Schwarzenegger vetoed it.
Then in May of 2008, California Supreme Court struck down the state's ban on same-sex marriage (Proposition 22) , saying sexual orientation, like race or gender, "does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights."
Meanwhile more than 18,000 same-sex couples were married in California between June 17 and November 4, 2008.

In 2008, Proposition 8 qualified for the fall election. Fueled by misinformation, distortions and lies, millions of voters said YES to bigotry, YES to discrimination, YES to second-class status for same-sex couples. The proposition was heavily funded by the Mormon and Catholic Churches. It passed with by small majority of 52.5% and was the most expensive proposition on any ballot with over $85 million spent by both sides. The proposition changed the California constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. A new section is added stating "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

2009: California Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8, constitutionally defining marriage between a man and a woman, but rules that previously officiated same-sex marriages shall remain valid.

2010: U.S. District Court of Northern California declared that Proposition 8 violates due process and Equal Protection clauses in the U.S. Constitution. Supporters of the proposition appeal to the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.

2012: Federal Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit ruled 2-1 that Proposition 8, violates the Equal Protection Clause of the United States Constitution. Judge Stephen Reinhardt wrote in the decision, “Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gay men and lesbians in California."
The case is now one step closer to US Supreme Court.

SuperBowl Alternative

We are going to miss watching the Superbowl on Sunday. Instead we have a weekend of theatre to attend. In fact, we are seeing two plays on Sunday and one on Saturday.

We begin on Saturday by seeing the rarely produced one-act musical "Falsettoland" by William Finn's and James Lapine. It is being produced by the new Asian-American company called Stirfry Theatre. The one-act musical centers on Marvin, his wife, his psychiatrist, his son, and his gay lover Whizzer. The son is preparing for his bar mitzvah and Whizzer is suffering from a mysterious, life-threatening illness, which the audience recognizes is AIDS.

Sunday's double dose starts in Berkeley at Aurora Theatre. They are presenting a comedy by the NYC writer Anne Baker called "Body Awareness". San Francisco Chronicle drama critic, Robert Hurwitt gave the production a great review this morning.
The evening play is at the Marin Theatre Company. They are presenting the west coast premier of "A Steady Rain" by Keith Huff. This looks like it will be an intense show. Two Chicago policemen who inadvertently return a Vietnamese boy to a cannibalistic serial killer who claims to be the child's uncle. When he later becomes the man's latest victim, the lifelong friendship of the two men is threatened when it becomes clear someone must bear responsibility for their egregious failure to assess the situation accurately.

There is a lot of GREAT theatre going on in the SF Bay Area. Other shows you might want to catch this weekend:
'The Pitman Painters' at TheatreWorks
'Humor Abuse' at ACT
'Becky Shaw' at San Francisco Playhouse 
'Ghost Light' at Berkeley Repertory Theatre 
'Double Indemnity' at San Jose Repertory Theatre
'Story of My Life' at New Conservatory Theatre

Meanwhile, if you are a lucky person attending the SuperBowl, look for a Public Service Announcement for Facing History & Ourselves. The PSA describes the work of Facing History & Ourselves (www.facinghistory.org), a global educational organization that combats racism, antisemitism and prejudice through student education and teacher training. We are members of the local Advisory Board. The more people we reach, the greater the chance of positively influencing the choices that make history.

"Face It" Facing History PSA (Short) from Facing History and Ourselves on Vimeo.
URL Link:  http://vimeo.com/35728804

Theatre Recap: Top Shows Seen in 2011

This past year (2011), we saw about 133 plays, musicals, and operas (give or take one or two).  We visited stages throughout the San Francisco Bay Area, and attended local theatre on our trips to New York, Ashland OR, Nashville TN, Mendocino CA, Miami FL, Glasgow Scotland, and Edinburgh Scotland.  We rated 68 of those productions “5” on a 5-point scale.  Clearly, it was a good year, we are often very happy with what we see, and we also tend to study and choose wisely (as much as possible) before attending. Our complete list of shows we saw can be found HERE.

Below are our lists of the top-ranked, prioritized shows as we look back over the year.

OUR 2011 TOP 10 SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA

PLAYS & MUSICALS

1. The North Pool - Rajiv Joseph, TheatreWorks

The truth shifts constantly as a suburban Vice Principal confronts a Syrian student in this riveting cat-and-mouse thriller that takes place in the VP's office on a Friday afternoon after class.

2. No Exit - Jean-Paul Sartre,  A.C.T.  (The Virtual Stage & Electric Company Theatre production)

A live-cinematic production. A mysterious valet ushers three people into a shabby hotel room, and they soon discover that hell is other people arguing about their lives.

3. Clybourne Park - Bruce Norris,  A.C.T. 

Takes Lorraine Hansberry's "A Raisin in the Sun", of a black family moving up to an all white neighborhood, as a jumping off point for a clever refocusing on the politics of race, class, and real estate gentrification.

4. How to Write a New Book for the Bible - Bill Cain, Berkeley Repertory Theatre

Every family creates a sacred story out of love. The writer moves in with his mother when she becomes too sick to care for herself. Their reunion heals old wounds, opening a heartfelt and humorous new chapter in their relationship.

5. The Glass Menagerie - Tennessee Williams, Marin Theatre Company

Aspiring poet Tom reluctantly works in a warehouse to support his overbearing mother and debilitatingly shy sister, Laura. Pushed by his mother, he finds Laura a gentleman caller to try to coax her from her fragile private world.

6. Ruined -Lynn Nottage, Berkeley Repertory Theatre

A look at the lives of women in a land ruled by whiskey and bayonets. As civil war ravages the Congo, the lucky ones find a home—and a regular meal—in a building that serves as both brothel and refuge.

7. Reborning - Zayd Dohrn, San Francisco Playhouse

A chilling yarn of a young artist who crafts custom made dolls begins to suspect that a demanding client may be the mother who abandoned her at birth.

8. Tigers Be Still - Kim Rosenstock, San Francisco Playhouse

The spectacular misadventures of Sherry, an art teacher who, in the midst of mentoring a troubled teen and dealing with a tiger on the loose, faces her biggest challenges at home … getting her sister to sober up and her mother to come out of the bedroom.

9. Nymph Errant - Cole Porter, Rommey Brent, 42nd Street Moon

 A young Englishwoman sets off to experiment with life, and travels the Continent in search of adventure, romance and sex! While her escapades are zany, bizarre and outrageous, a torrid affair eludes her.

10. The American Clock: A Vaudeville - Arthur Miller, A.C.T. M.F.A. Program in Acting

A story based on Miller's own family during the Great Depression. He connects his history to the struggles of the rest of the nation by integrating material from Stud Terkel's Hard Times: An Oral History of the Great Depression.

                            HONORABLE MENTIONS of SF BAY AREA SHOWS

--> [Title of Show] - Jeff Browen, Hunter Bell, TheatreWorks

A musical by a pair of talented writers about a pair of talented writers writing a funny new musical.

--> Honey Brown Eyes - Stefanie Zadravec, San Francisco Playhouse

Inspired by actual events, the play contrasts the everydayness of domestic settings with the ravages of the Bosnian War. Set in two kitchens, it follows two soldiers that were once in a band together caught on opposite sides of the war - one who has to face the consequences of his own brutality, and another who comes to terms with his own cowardice.

--> Period of Adjustment - Tennessee Williams, San Francisco Playhouse

Christmas Eve in High Point,TN 1958. George takes his new bride to meet friend and fellow soldier, Ralph, for the holiday celebrations. As snow settles outside, the idyllic scene begins to dissolve. While past hopes and dreams are recounted, the bittersweet reality of their marital relationships surface with comical and poignant results.

--> The Temperamentals - Jon Marans, New Conservatory Theatre Center

 The story of two men - the communist Harry Hay and the Viennese refugee Rudy Gernreich - as they fall in love and build the first gay rights organization in the pre-Stonewall United States.

--> Fly By Night - Will Connolly, Michael Mitnick, Kim Rosenstock, TheatreWorks

A musical about a hapless sandwich maker, torn between his feelings for his wife and her sister, who discovers romance during the 1965 NYC blackout.

OUR 2011 TOP 5 ONE-PERSON SHOWS

1.  The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs - Mike Daisey, Berkeley Repertory Theatre

Monologue whose subject is the moral health of a society hooked on the products of Jobs' company and with the physical health of the labor that produces them.

2. Hugh Jackman in Performance, Curran Theatre - Best of Broadway

An evening of song and dance. Big tribute to Peter Allen's Boy From Oz. 

3. Shylock – Gareth Armstrong, Edinburgh Fringe Festival

A dazzling dissection of Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. Guy Masterson gives a comedic, deeply moving performance, celebrating the richness of Shakespeare's language and conjuring a host of characters from Portia to Pontius Pilate and confounding the stereotypes.

4. Loveland - Ann Randolph, The Marsh

Franny Potts faces up to the loss of her mother while flying from LA to Ohio surrounded by strangers.

5. The Real Americans - Dan Hoyle, The Marsh

Fleeing the liberal bubble of SF and hipster friends, Hoyle spent 100 days traveling through small-town America in search of some tough country wisdom and a way to bridge America’s urban/rural divide.

OUR 2011 TOP NEW YORK SHOWS

1. The Book of Mormon - Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Robert Lopez, Eugene O'Neill Theatre

From creators of South Park and Avenue Q. Two young Mormons embark on a mission to spread the gospel in Uganda.

2. The Normal Heart - Larry Kramer, Golden Theatre (Joe Mantello, Ellen Barkin)

The story of a city in denial unfolds like a real-life political thriller — as a tight-knit group of friends refuse to let doctors, politicians and the press bury the truth of an unspoken epidemic behind a wall of silence. Ahead of its time on many of the core issues it addresses — gay marriage, the healthcare system and, of course, AIDS.

3. Jerusalem - Jez Butterworth, The Music Box (Mark Rylance)

The Royal Court Theatre's production is a modern mythic tale of the death of a god. In the woods of southwest England, Johnny "Rooster" Byron, former daredevil and modern-day Pied Piper, is a wanted man. The council officials want to serve him an eviction notice, his son wants to be taken to the country fair, a stepfather wants to give him a serious kicking and a motley crew of friends wants his ample supply of drugs and alcohol.

4.  Unnatural Acts - Tony Speciale and members of Plastic Theatre, Classic Stage Company

Inspired by events at Harvard University in 1920, when a student's suicide sparked a campus-wide investigation by a secret court of administrators who convened to investigate, expose and ultimately expel a group of homosexual students. 

5. Anything Goes - Cole Porter, Timothy Crouse, John Weidman, Howard Lindsay, Russel Crouse, Guy Bolton, P.G.Wodehouse, Stephen Sondheim Theatre (Sutton Foster, Joel Grey) 

The passengers on this luxury cruise include an evangelist turned nightclub singer, a gangster disguised as a minister, hopeless romantics and stowaways. The Cole Porter score include "I Get a Kick" "You're the Top," "Friendship" and "Easy to Love." 

6. Catch Me If You Can - Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman, Terrence McNally, Neil Simon Theatre (Norbert Leo Butz) 

Frank Abagnale, Jr., a world-class con artist, creates an array of identities - airline pilot, doctor, lawyer - with no qualifications. He's got the straight-arrow FBI agent Carl Hanratty on his trail. Based on the Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks movie.

--> And Our Most-Talked About Show…But the one we least liked at the time of the 14 shows we saw that week:

Sleep No More - Felix Barrett, Maxine Doyle, and The Company of Punchdrunk

An immersive dance and mime production inspired by Macbeth, told through the lens of a Hitchcock thriller. The audience, wearing white bird masks, randomly roams through 6 floors/100 rooms with no guidance and experiences a sensory journey. 

OUR 2011 TOP NON-SF/NY SHOWS

1. From the Fire - Elizabeth Swados, Cecilia Rubino, Paula Finn; Edinburgh Fringe Festival

A haunting dramatization/oratorio of the uprising of 20,000 young women in New York City and the infamous Triangle Factory Fire of 1911, which galvanized social change.

2. Measure for Measure - William Shakespeare, Oregon Shakespeare Festival

Who legislates morality? The Duke's deputy is hell-bent on stamping out moral decay. He reactivates outdated Draconian laws and aims his arrogant crosshairs at a young man whose fiancée is pregnant, sentencing him to death. The deputy is sternly incorruptible—until he meets Isabela, a beautiful religious novice whose desirability arouses him. A modern production flavored with live music by the mariachi band Las Colibri.

3. Anton's Uncles - Richard Alger, Tina Kronis, Theatre Movement Bazaar; Edinburgh Fringe Festival

An adaptation of Chekhov's Uncle Vanya. A deconstruction of the original where only the men remain. The text is a distillation of the original with new material added. The movement score emphasizes the unspoken, unseen, and unexpressed for a fresh, physical, and funny impression of Chekhov's classic.

4. The Pitman Painters – Lee Hall, National Theatre, Glasgow, Scotland.

 In 1934, a group of Ashington miners hired a professor to teach an art appreciation evening class. Abandoning theory in favor of practice, the pitmen began to paint – prolifically. Within a few years avant-garde artists became their friends and prestigious collectors acquired their work; but every day they continued to work, as before, down the mine.

5. Memphis, the Musical - Joe DiPietro, David Bryan, Tennessee Performing Arts Center, Nashville, TN

Sex and race and rock ’n’ roll: a white radio DJ whose love of good music and a talented songtress transcends race lines and airwaves in the turbulent south in the 1950s. 

6. The Boy James – Alexander Wright, Belt Up Theatre, Edinburgh Fringe Festival

 Inspired by Peter Pan and its author J.M. Barrie, it shows a battle of the imagination between James' older and younger selves; a mental tug-of-war between the inevitable onset of adulthood and the eternal appeal of Neverland.

7. The Pirates of Penzance - Arthur Sullivan, W.S. Gilbert, Oregon Shakespeare Festival

A day at the beach for the daughters of a modern Major General provides Frederic and his pirate mates with a chance encounter and a first-rate opportunity to marry with impunity. Punchy musical references to modern pop-music styles (doo-wop, gospel, Broadway show tunes) are woven into many numbers.

8. Ghost Light - Tony Taccone, Oregon Shakespeare Festival

Jonathan Moscone (based on his own experiences), a gay stage director, is forced to come to terms with a loss that shattered his youth: the assassination (1978) of his real-life father, Mayor George Moscone. As he prepares to direct Hamlet, the parallels between Shakespeare's drama and his own experience overwhelm him. In dreams, and anxious talks with his close friend Louise, he gradually unknots the trauma, and the later guilt and bitterness.

9. The Imaginary Invalid - Molière, Oded Gross, Tracy Young, Oregon Shakespeare Festival

A 1960s French pop culture is overlaid on this 17th-centary play. The wealthy Argan is a housebound hypochondriac with every disease in the book. Lurking around are quacks only too happy to (mis)treat him. Family troubles, including a money-grubbing wife and two headstrong daughters, add to Argan’s miseries.

10. Ovid’s Metamorphosis – Peter Bramley, Lucy Egger, Pants on Fire, Edinburgh Fringe Festival

 Transposes the epic Roman poem to a musical set in 940s wartime England, a time when heroes were a real-life concept and movie stars were like gods and goddesses.

OUR 2011 TOP OPERAS

1.  The Ring Cycle (4 operas, 17.5 hours over 6 days)

Das Rheingold - Richard Wagner, San Francisco Opera 

The lust for power, the lure of gold, the sacred beauty of nature, the destructive impulses of man: These timeless themes dominate both American history and Wagner's Ring. The dwarf Alberich futilely attempts to seduce the maidens who guard the Rhine River’s gold. If forged into a ring, it would give its wearer universal power, as long as he renounces love. Alberich steals the gold and fashions the ring. Meanwhile, Wotan, king of the gods, must find a way to pay the giants Fasolt and Fafner for the construction of Valhalla, the immortals’ opulent new home. Using trickery, he steals Alberich’s ring to settle his debt. The bitter dwarf places a curse on the ring and anyone who possesses it. 

Die Walküre 

An epic tale of an emotionally volatile father and his disobedient children (Siegmund & Brünnhilde) done with a distinctly American touch while honoring its mythic roots. Wotan, king of the gods, strives to undo the curse of the ring by fathering a pure-of-heart hero by a mortal woman. But he finds himself torn as events spin out of control and his offspring defy his will.

Siegfriede 

A coming-of-age story in which a fearless young hero discovers his destiny. Wotan's hope for recovery of the ring now rests with his grandson Siegfried, who must reject his adoptive father, forge a magical sword and slay a fearsome dragon to prove himself worthy of its mighty power—and the extraordinary woman who awaits him.

Götterdämmerunge 

The sacred union of Siegfried and Brünnhilde is threatened by three scheming siblings, one of whom was sired by Alberich to take possession of the ring. Driven by greed, their actions inevitably lead to chaos and destruction, until Brünnhilde—wise, pure of heart, heroic—steps forward to return the universe to its natural order in an act of self-sacrifice.

2. Heart of a Soldier - Christopher Theofanidis, Donna Di Novelli, San Francisco Opera 

Based on the book by James B. Stewart on the life of Rick Rescorla, a Brit-turned-Yank who left a military career to become head of security for a company with offices in the World Trade Center. On Sept. 11, 2001, he safely evacuated the company's 2,700 employees from the south tower and returned for a final sweep. The tower collapsed shortly thereafter.

3. Carmen - Georges Bizet, San Francisco Opera 

Corporal Don José deserts his fiancée and his regiment to run off with the bewitching Gypsy, Carmen. But when she shifts her affections to the dashing toreador Escamillo, Carmen meets her fate in the form of Don José’s knife blade. 

4. Turandot - Giacomo Puccini, Giuseppe Adami, Renato Simoni, San Francisco Opera 

The icy restraint of Princess Turandot is finally melted by the passionate love of her suitor, Calaf. He correctly answers her three questions and keeps his name secret for a night to win her and keep his head. The opera score includes Nessun Dorma , one of the world's favorite tenor arias. 

Cell phone in the theatre

CellPhoneSign.JPG, a photo by ed and eddie on Flickr.

Saw this lobby sign at a theatre in Miami, FL. "Celebrating 9 straight shows without a text or cell phone interruption! Help keep the streak alive!"

A Sexy Birthday Greeting From Elvis

Yesterday, January 8th was Elvis Presley's birthday. Today, January 9th is my birthday. Elvis was 23 years older then me. I love this cool, sexy picture of him. He could be singing to me in this photograph.

This YouTube video is a bootleg, home recording of Elvis singing 'Happy, Happy Birthday Baby' in 1958, the year I was born!

Link: http://youtu.be/qi5JctA4uGg

Eulogy for My Distant Father

Son and father

Family Background

Below is a version, with some additions, of remarks I made the last week in December at my Dad’s funeral in Paris, Tennessee.  My intentions had been not to give a eulogy; but when the African-American leader of his funeral service asked for folks to come up, no one else was forthcoming; and I felt his 84-year-life should not pass without some summary by someone who did know him much of that time.

My father owned a furniture store where he worked 6+ days a week for almost 65 years; and he was still there daily within a week of his death.  The store was a large portion of his life.  The rest of his time was mostly devoted to holding civic positions of leadership within Paris, Tennessee & Henry County.  I doubt more than a handful of people within that County today do not know him personally.  He was Mr. Paris in many ways. 

While gracious, generous, and gregarious to the public, my father was mostly sullen, silent, absent, and extremely controlling within the family home (at least during the years I was growing up).  I never heard him express sentiments of love -- to me, my brother or my mother.   He took zero interest in my many activities, never praised to my face my various accomplishments, and only outwardly cared if I brought home anything less than an “A” on every subject (which I rarely/never did).  He set many rules and boundaries that I dared not cross, and punishments were frequent and severe for a kid who actually was seen by everyone else (including my Mother) as one never got in trouble.

His estimation of me grew 100-fold when I introduced in 1978 my bride-to-be.  He really liked her and her family a lot and seemed to see me through her in a new light.  Our relationship got a little more friendly, like good acquaintances; but our phone conversations for the next 20+ years centered on three subjects: weather, the ‘boys’ (his 3 grandsons, whom he did seem to adore), and his/my business.

When I came out 24 years later and divorced my wife (with whom I am on great terms as still-best friends), he did not speak to me for three years.  (I actually think the divorce was a bigger sin in his eyes than even ‘being a homosexual’.)  To his credit and through much coaxing from his present (second) wife, he did resume our ‘acquaintanceship’ almost seven years ago and finally met three years ago and totally seemed to accept Ed as my current spouse – much also to Ed’s credit and the way he approached and treated my Dad.

So with this background, here is my eulogy to Edward Lee Reynolds, Senior to my Junior.

Eulogy for a Father Acquaintance

 “Good morning.  I am the other son, the one from the Left Coast of the US.  I am the one that is in many ways opposite and different from my Dad, especially when it comes to our views of politics.  His Republican, conservative self smirked and railed against my Democratic, liberal stance; but we also learned just to avoid a whole set of topics where we both knew nothing could be gained by going there.

Dad behind the counter of his store.

As many of you may know, my Dad and I were actually never very close as father-son and certainly not as friends.  I cannot today stand here and recount intimate, fun moments we shared as I grew up.  I have no such memories.  My Dad was not a family man.  He was a business and community-service man.  His persona as a business and community leader was something I observed from afar; his persona within our home was one most others might not have recognized if they had seen it.

But, as I reflect on my Dad’s influence on me, there are definitely important and positive legacies.   First and foremost, I shop only local retail to the extent possible, paying more in our downtown Palo Alto stores instead of going to the local malls.  I think every piece of furniture in our house is American-made, not a small feat in today’s world.  And as my present spouse can verify, I tend more often than not to pick up the check whenever we take friends to dinner, and I love to entertain in a big way, something I always saw my Dad do as I grew up.

I also learned by watching him that being a leader in the community is important.  Giving back to that community and its organizations was a part of his life and is very much a part of mine.  He seemed to like to hear about positions of leadership I had taken and to listen intently to issues I was helping them confront, although he did not tend to make any comments or ask any questions.  I also learned from him that helping others less fortunate was our obligation.  My Dad insisted I spend each Christmas Eve (all through college and even after wife and I were married) delivering several score of large fruit and food baskets to widows, elderly couples, and poorer folks – all of which he eagerly and in a very jolly mood assembled at his furniture store all morning of the 24th.

When I told my ex-wife about my Dad’s death, she tearfully recounted to me her lasting memory of my Dad and the practice he made in giving credit to anyone who walked into his furniture store, no matter the color of skin or the economic status.  As long as a customer was working hard in whatever he/she was doing, as long as they were sincere in promising to back up their small down-payment with weekly/monthly payments (sometime only a few dollars a time), he/she could have delivered that new couch, washer, or bedroom set.  And usually, he would throw in a new lamp, a picture for the wall, or a couple of throw pillows for free.  Now I remember here in Paris when there were two water fountains and two sets of bathrooms at the courthouse.  I remember when all the drug stores took out the seats in their soda fountains and when the movie house shut down rather than having people of mixed races sit together.   But I can never remember a time when an African American walked into my Dad’s store and did not get a huge smile, a hand-shake (and in later years, probably a hug), and store-credit account to buy a new or used piece of furniture.  While I cringed sometimes when my Dad used the wrong words to describe a person of color, I never felt he had anything but respect and even love for the local African American community.  Recently, I even found out from his wife that he wrote every year substantial checks to each African American church in Paris, contributions that particularly have been helpful in the last few, lean years.

In Judaism, which is one of the ways my Dad and I were very different, we are commanded to ‘repair the world’ around us while on this earth.  I believe my Dad did that and left me with a legacy I now try to follow.  I only learned it by watching him.  He did not instruct me or encourage me to do so, but he provided a powerful example.

When Ed and I visited my Dad in November, one of the last things he said to me was in fact one of the most intimate, loving remarks I had ever heard him say.  He came over to me, grabbed by shoulders, and said, “Eddie, I want you to know the best thing we (meaning my Mom and he) did in this life was to have the best five grandchildren ever.  Each of them is so accomplished.  Each is a good person.  I am so proud of all five of them.  I want you to tell your Mother (whom he divorced 23 years ago) that I said this.  I want her to know I believe this.”

So, I stand here today with a lifetime of some regrets about my and my Dad’s lack of relationship with me, but I also stand before you proud of the many things he accomplished for many of you here and for thousands of others in this community.  May the lives he touched be a lasting legacy of the good he did on this earth, and may we all say, “Amen.”

You gotta give ‘em hope – Harvey Milk

My very talented husband has been a member of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus for almost a year. He has recently taken on a leadership roll with the group as the production manager for a new arts initiative to honor the legacy of Harvey Milk.

This last November, the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus launched a global call for submissions from artists of all types (composers, lyricists, poets, essayists, dancers, visual artists, etc.) -- particularly those 35 years and younger in age -- to help honor in 2013 the life and legacy of Harvey Milk, the first gay elected politician who plowed ground for so many to follow.

Please spread the word. Invite friends, students, family, acquaintances to go to this website, to watch the videos & then to create/submit. "DEAR HARVEY, WE'VE GOT HOPE!!"

Link: http://youtu.be/O9Yb65HNLsA

Check out this message by Harvey Milk's nephew, Stuart, as he describes his support and excitement for "Dear Harvey, We've Got Hope." Spread the word. Send to poets, musicians, artists, singers, actors, and writers. This is a cutting-edge opportunity to be a part of a collaborative, global creation of a new piece of performance art. HOW EXCITING!!!

Link: http://youtu.be/ppIwHWvnRK0

“I ask for the movement to continue, for the movement to grow, because last week I got a phone call from Altoona, Pennsylvania, and my election gave somebody else, one more person, hope. And after all, that's what this is all about. It's not about personal gain, not about ego, not about power — it's about giving those young people out there in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias, hope. You gotta give them hope.”

 -- From a tape recording to be played in the event of his assassination, quoted in Randy Shilts’, The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk

“And the young gay people in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias and the Richmond, Minnesotas who are coming out and hear Anita Bryant in television and her story. The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone.”

 -- A version of his staple "Hope Speech," quoted in Randy Shilts’, The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk

When Holidays Are Gay!

Vintage ad spotted on GoodAsYou.org 


The San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus Ambassadors perform the Home For The Holidays concert finale on tour at a church in Santa Cruz, California on Sat., December 17, 2011. Songs performed include "We Are Lights" by Stephen Schwartz, "Silent Night" and "Peace, Peace" by Rick & Silvia Powell. The SFGMC Ambassadors as shown are 100 of the 275 singers in the Chorus.

Link: http://youtu.be/Inz6fd4nieU

Gay Travel Destinations

At the beginning of December, the Community Marketing, Inc. came out with their Gay & Lesbian Tourism Report for 2011-2012.

[A full PDF report can be found at the following link: [http://www.communitymarketinginc.com/documents/temp/CMI_16thLGBTTourismStudy.pdf]

Of the 21 locations listed, we have been to 62% of them as a gay couple in the last 9 years. Not a bad percentage. We have discussed visiting Key West, New Orleans and Hawaii and will most likely visit them in the next couple of years.

In all the cities we've visited, we try to support the gay community by staying at gay owned or managed bed-and-breakfast, inns or resorts. We make a point to patronize gay stores, theatres, restaurants, and other establishments. An excellent resource of finding places is the website and phone app, GayCities.com. 

Top 21 Leisure Destinations (not including business travel)

1)    New York City, NY – 8 times

2)    San Francisco, CA – live 40 minutes away, visit 3-5 times a week

3)    Las Vegas, NV – 1 time

4)    Chicago, IL – 1 time

5)    Los Angeles, CA - 3 times

6)    Washington, DC – 3 times

7)    Ft. Lauderdale, FL – 5 times

8)    Palm Springs, CA – 3 times

9)    Miami, FL – passed through many times, not stayed

10) Boston, MA – 1 time

11) Orlando, FL - none

12) Philadelphia, PA - none

13) San Diego, CA – 1 time

14) Seattle, WA - none

15) New Orleans, LA - none

16) Atlanta, GA - none

17) Key West, FL – none (cancelled 1 trip when I got sick.)

18) Hawaii – not as a couple, visited separately before we met

19) Napa, CA – 6 times, live 90 minutes away

20) Provincetown, MA - none

21) Sonoma, CA – 4 times, live 100 minutes away

I find it interesting that Napa and Sonoma are even on the list and listed separately. First, they are both in the wine country, part of the Napa wine region, 45 miles north of San Francisco. The two towns are very close (15 miles apart) and almost indistinguishable from each other. Both are just a day trip for anyone visiting San Francisco. Other than several nice gay-owned B&B's and a couple gay/gay-friendly wineries, neither place has a gayborhood or strong out GLBT presence. There are no gay bars or restaurants and very few community services or events. I find the communities to be little more then tolerant, conservative, straight-acting environments. The more interesting community that embraces the GLBT visitors and locals is the more rustic Russian River and Guerneville area that is 75 miles north of San Francisco and 55 miles northwest of Napa.

Have yourself a gay Hanukkah

May a little miracle touch each of your lives as many of us light the first candle of Hanukkah tonight. E & I send best wishes to all our friends around the world and hope that the freedom victories we celebrate will soon occur again throughout all the oppressed spots of our world. Happy Hanukkah.

2011-2012 most produced plays

One of the recent fall issues of American Theatre magazine reported the 10 most-produced plays in national theatres this year (2011-2012). The Top Ten List (which has 11 plays because of a tie in the number of productions) omits holiday themed shows (such as The Santaland Diaries and A Christmas Carol) as well as works by Shakespeare. We have seen 9 out of 11 :

"God of Carnage" by Yasmina Reza. Two sets of parents meet to discuss their child's fight but they become increasingly childish resulting in chaos.

"In the Next Room (or The Vibrator Play)” by Sarah Ruhl. It concerns the early history of the vibrator, when doctors used it as a clinical device to bring women to orgasm as treatment for "hysteria."

"The 39 Steps" a farce adapted by Patrick Barlow from the 1915 novel by John Buchan and the 1935 film by Alfred Hitchcock.

"Next Fall" by Geoffrey Nauffts. A story about two gay men in a committed relationship with a twist, one is devoutly religious and the other is an atheist.

"To Kill a Mockingbird" adaption of the Harper Lee novel by Christopher Sergel

"Spring Awakening" is a rock musical adaptation of the controversial 1892 German play by Frank Wedekind. Music by Duncan Sheik and a book/lyrics by Steven Sater. The musical boldly depicts how young people navigate the thrilling, confusing and mysterious time of their sexual awakening.

"Race" by David Mamet. It follows three attorneys, two black and one white, offered a chance to defend a white man charged with a crime against a black woman.

"August: Osage County" by Tracy Letts. Riveting family drama of drug abuse, alcoholism, suicide, death, family dysfunction, sexual harassment, aging, generational change, racism, incest, infidelity, and ultimately love.

“Clybourne Park”
by Bruce Norris. Takes Lorraine Hansberry's "A Raisin in the Sun", of a black family moving up to an all white neighborhood, as a jumping off point for a clever refocusing on the politics of race, class, and real estate gentrification.

A 9^th play is performing locally beginning in March 2012. We hope to see "Red" by John Logan. It is about the artist Mark Rothko and it plays this season at Berkeley Repertory Theatre.

The one play we have not seen and doesn’t seem to be playing in the Bay Area is Donald Marguillies' "Time Stands Still." The play revolves around a woman photojournalist who has returned from covering the Iraq war after being injured in a roadside bomb, and her reporter ex-boyfriend who is swamped by guilt after leaving her alone in Iraq.

Now, where is it showing??

Fall Record

Oregon Shakespeare Festival

This weekend starts 2.5 weeks of vacation in Fort Lauderdale, Florida over the December holidays. Our fall has been very busy as shown by the sparse posting. Here is a quick recap of some of the activities since our month in Scotland back in August.

Trips:

SEP: Long weekend trip to Ashland Oregon where we saw 6 excellent plays at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. While there we participated in Ashland’s First Friday Art Walk. Ran into my college roommate and his wife and had dinner with them and the producing director of the Marin Theatre Company.

Jeff Pevar on right

The surprise of the weekend was visiting a local dive bar and enjoying an incredible evening of music performed by several session musicians. The best known of the group was Jeff Pevar. He has recorded and/or toured with Crosby, Stills and Nash, Donald Fagen, James Taylor, Marc Cohn, Ray Charles, Joe Cocker, Jimmy Webb, Rickie Lee Jones, Dr. John, Carly Simon, Kenny Loggins, Meat Loaf, Phil Collins, Richie Havens, Odetta and many others.

mother and son

NOV: Weekend trip to Tennessee to visit E’s family in Paris, TN. Saw the musical “Memphis” on it’s national tour in Nashville.  And we spent a day antiquing in Hazel, KY with E’s mother.

Glendeven Inn, Mendocino, CA

NOV: We spent a long restful (at least for us) Thanksgiving weekend in Mendocino, California at the lovely, gay-owned bed-and-breakfast, Glendeven Inn, We hiked for 3 hours along the scenic coast in an area called Spring Ranch on Thanksgiving day. We then had a delicious 5-course dinner at nearby Little River Inn. On Friday we met friends in town to celebrate one of their birthdays. Saturday we did a 10-mile hike in the Van Damme State Park & Pygmy Forest. In the evening we attend a play at the local community theatre, Mendocino Theatre Company.

Other Activities:

In September we did the San Francisco Architecture Walking Tour with our 2 youngest kids. We also visited the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco to see: Picasso: Masterpieces from the Musée National Picasso, Paris; Dutch and Flemish Masterworks from the Rose-Marie and Eijk van Otterloo Collection; and The Mourners: Tomb Sculptures from the Court of Burgundy.
In October we visited the Contemporary Jewish Museum to see: Houdini: Art and Magic. Check out my earlier tribute to Harry Houdini.

SantaCom in San Francisco

And by accident we found ourselves in the middle of the SantaCon celebration in San Francisco at the beginning of December. It is a mass gathering of people dressed in Santa Claus costumes parading publicly on streets and in bars in the North Beach area of San Francisco.

We attended several fundraising dinners: Horizons Foundation's Gala Dinner and Casino Party (guest speaker George Takei, and the SF Gay Men’s Chorus; San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus' fundraising gala: Crescendo 
and the BayLands FrontRunners anniversary dinner.

We also did a day hike in Arastradero Preserve/Foothill Park with friends on one of our few weekend days.

San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus

Much of December was busy with E’s rehearsals and performances with San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus. Their holiday show was called Joyous, Jolly Jingles and E performed it in Santa Rosa, San Francisco and Lafayette, CA before we left for our Florida trip.

All of this was in addition to our theatre schedule. We saw 11 plays and operas in September. 12 plays and operas in October and another 9 in November. By the time December is over, we will have seen another 8 performances.