Gay Friendly Palo Alto, CA

Palo Alto, where we live, is nestled in the liberal Bay Area, halfway down the peninsula between the gay mecca, San Francisco, and the 10th largest city in the US, San Jose. Location, politics and economics makes Palo Alto extremely gay friendly. It is known as an open-minded college town because of its close proximity to Stanford University as well as a cosmopolitan, high-tech center from which radiates Silicon Valley. It is where Mr. Hewlett and Mr. Packard started their company in a backyard garage. It is the headquarters of Facebook and the home of Apple’s CEO, Steve Jobs. Many gays are drawn to its small town ambiance and it big city connections. It is not unusual to see same-sex couples holding hands while walking down the street or eating in one of the many attractive Palo Alto restaurants.

Shopping:
Stanford Shopping Mall A beautifully landscaped outdoor mall offers plenty of shopping options for a gay man: A/X Armani Exchange, Abercrombie & Fitch, Brooks Brothers, Burberry, Crate & Barrel, Gap, Macy’s Men’s Store, Nordstrom, Polo by Ralph Lauren, Pottery Barn, Swatch, Williams-Sonoma, etc.

University Avenue is a great street of shopping, coffee spots, eateries and outdoor dining. A few of the appealing retail stores: American Apparel, Apple Store, Borders Books (has a small Gay & Lesbian section), Design Within Reach and The Modern Living (both fashionable furniture stores), Letter Perfect card shop (carries same-sex wedding cards), Modernbook (photography gallery and bookshop), Palo Alto Bicycles (every Palo Altoian has at least one lycra bike wear outfit), Palo Alto Sport & Toy World (good selection of competitive/Speedo swimwear), Restoration Hardware (often setup for catalogue photo shoots), Shady Lane gift gallery (fetish carved animals, trollbeads, fairies, colorful gems, fossils, etc).

Entertainment:
Palo Alto has an abundance of entertainment choices that is the envy of suburbs across the country. The city is the home for several theatre companies. The nationally acclaimed TheatreWorks performs half of their season at the Lucie Stern Community Theatre (the other half is in nearby Mountain View). TheatreWorks is one of six professional theater companies in the Bay Area (others are ACT in San Francisco, Berkeley Repertory Theatre, San Jose Repertory Theatre, Marin Theatre Company, and CenterREP in Walnut Creek). Other local community theatres companies in Palo Alto include Dragon Theatre, Palo Alto Players, West Bay Opera and Palo Alto Children’s Theatre. There is even a gay theatre, Theatre Q, which occasionally performs in downtown Palo Alto.

If movies are what you prefer, there are two excellent art-house theaters: Stanford Theater on University Avenue and Aquarius Theater on Emerson Street. (There is a third movie theatre, CinéArts, but note that it is owned by Cinemark Holdings in Texas. Top management there donated heavily to take marriage rights away from California gays and lesbians.)

For the visual arts, Palo Alto has about a dozen art galleries located around town. The art collection at Cantor Center for Visual Arts at Stanford University span continents, cultures, and 4,000 years of art history and includes the largest gathering of Rodin bronzes outside of Paris.

Great places to visually catch hunky, eye-candy includes the Stanford athletic fields, the Stanford Big Dish trail, Palo Alto Baylands trails and the city soccer fields.

Restaurants & Eateries:

Palo Alto is the home for over 250 restaurants and eateries. There is something for every palette and price range, from award-winningly expensive to cheap take-out to wi-fi coffee cafes and organic frozen yogurt shops.

The most common cuisines served in Palo Alto, listed in descending order, are: Italian, American, Chinese, Pizza, Mexican, Coffee, Mediterranean, California, Thai, Deli, Japanese, and Indian.

We tend to go to restaurants on University Avenue or within a couple of blocks. Our favorite Palo Alto places, in alphabetical order: Bella Luna, Café Epi, California Pizza Kitchen, Howie's Artisan Pizza, Junnoon, Joya, L'Amour Frozen Yogurt, Mantra, Mediterranean Wraps, Old Pro, Patxi’s Pizza, Peet’s Coffee, Playa Grill, Pluto's Fresh Food, Prolific Oven, Reposado, Rojoz Wraps, Sancho's Taqueria, Scott’s Seafood, Siam Royal, Tai Pan, Three Seasons, Vino Locale and Zao Noodle Bar. (We tend to eat out a lot.)

Accommodations:
I don’t know of hotel/motel in Palo Alto that would not be gay friendly. Only one has sought out official GLBT designation.
TAG approved gay friendly hotel: Dinah’s Garden Hotel & Trader Vic’s

Social Organizations:
BayLands FrontRunners is a running and walking club for lesbians, gays and friends. Currently the group has over 400 active members. They host a weekly run/walk around the Baylands Nature Preserve in Palo Alto every Saturday morning at 9:00am. Meet in the parking lot of the Baylands Athletic Center, located at the end of Geng Road, off of Embarcadero Road, east of Highway 101.

El Camino Reelers is a GLBT square dance group, in Palo Alto. Open to anyone. New class starts in September each year and meet at St. Andrews Church in Palo Alto.

Youth/Student Resources:.
The two public high schools, Palo Alto High and Gunn High, have a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA). Castilleja School, a private college preparatory school for girls located in Palo Alto has a Rainbow Alliance club.

The Outlet Program in Mountain View empowers local LGBTQQ youth through a range of support services, leadership trainings, and community based education and outreach.

Stanford University’s LGBT - Community Resource Center (LGBT-CRC) provides an overview of student groups and activities for LGBT students at Stanford.

• Planetout rated Stanford one of the top 5 gay friendly college football schools in 2009.
• The book “Advocate College Guide for LGBT Students” lists Stanford University as one of the top 20 queer friendly schools in the nation.

Nearby Attractions:

Outside of San Francisco there are only a few primarily gay establishments on the Peninsula or in the South Bay.

• Nearest gay bars: King of Clubs in Mountain View, Tinker’s Damn in Santa Clara (the oldest gay bar in Santa Clara County). In San Jose: Mac’s Club, BRIX Nightclub, and the leather bar Renegades.
• Gay & bisexual men’s club and baths: The Wathergarden in San Jose.
• The LGBT community center for Santa Clara County: Billy DeFrank LGBT Community Center.
• Gay Days at California's Great America theme park in Santa Clara are at the end of May.

Pride Events:

• Santa Cruz Pride, June 6, 2010
• San Francisco Pride, June 26-17, 2010
• San José Pride Festival, August 21-22, 2010

Community and Activity Groups:
With terrific climate and varied terrain there is no shortage of gay activities and events. Indoors or outdoors, the Bay Area is an active man’s dream come true.

• BayLands FrontRunners - a running and walking club for lesbians, gays and friends.
• El Camino Reelers - GLBT square dance group.
• Gay and Lesbian Sierrans - official activity section of the Sierra Club.
• Liquid Therapy – South Bay social group meets first Friday of each month usually at a straight bar.
• Northern California Rainbow Divers - scuba diving club for the LGBT community
• Rainbow Rec – Activities oriented social group for gay men.
• SAGA North - Bay Area's Gay and Lesbian ski, snowboard and recreation club.
• Silicon Valley Gay Bridge Group
• Silicon Valley Gay Men’s Chorus
• Silicon Valley Softball League
• South Bay Volleyball Club
• Sundance Saloon – Country-Western Dance club.

Businesses:
Two local restaurants are members of the Rainbow Chamber of Commerce Silicon Valley. Both businesses give and support generously to GLBT causes.

• Hobee’s Resturant A local family-style franchise (2 locations in Palo Alto: Town & Country Village and 4224 El Camino Real) known for its hearty, all-day menu of pancakes, omelets and scrambles. Hash browns are gussied up with chicken-apple sausage or salsa fresca. Savory options such as huevos rancheros are served with large hunks of blueberry coffee cake. More classic fare includes burgers, sandwiches, quesadillas, pasta, and a list of hearty chicken and salmon entrees.


• 
  Vino Locale A unique European style wine bar specializing in local wine, food, and art from the Santa Cruz, San Mateo, San Benito and Alameda counties. It is located in a historic Victorian house on 431 Kipling Street in downtown Palo Alto and offers a beautiful courtyard available for outdoor dining.

Pink Spots, an advertising resource directory of gay-owned and gay-friendly businesses lists the following local companies for Palo Alto:
Dr. Taylor Comprehensive Foot & Ankle Care, Carlsen Audi, Amanda Martin State Farm Insurance, TheatreWorks, Theodore H. Mock Photography, Gadzo Law Firm, Accent Arts, Allied Brokers, Peninsula Piano Brokers, Classic Pet Grooming, Gordon Biersch Brewery & Restaurant, California Café, Borders Bookstore-Palo Alto, Charmelle 28, University Mission Medical Clinic, Copy Factory, Palo Alto Café, and Chapple Electric.

Gay Friendly Employers:
Based on the HRC 2010 Corporate Equality Index, an annual survey report that rates corporate America's treatment of LGBT employees, 305 businesses received top ratings of 100%.

28 local Silicon Valley corporations include: Levi Strauss, Charles Schwab, Visa, Wells Fargo, Genentech, Apple, Cisco Systems, Hewlett-Packard, NetApp, Sun Microsystems, Electronic Arts, Intuit, Oracle, Symantec, PG&E, Kaiser Permanente, Agilent Technologies, Applied Materials, Intel, Kimpton Hotel & Restaurant Group, AAA of Northern California, Esurance, eBay, Google, Yahoo!, Fenwick & West LLP, Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati PC, and the Gap.

Religion:
Of the more than 50 churches in Palo Alto, nine call themselves gay friendly and are listed on GayChurch.org: All Saints Episcopal Church, St. Mark’s Church, First Evangelical Lutheran Church, University Church, Covenant Presbyterian, First Presbyterian Church, Palo Alto Friends Meeting, First United Methodist Church of Palo Alto, and St. Andrew’s United Methodist Church. Gay friendly not listed include: Unity Palo Alto Community Church, Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto.

The three largest of the seven synagogues in Palo Alto are gay friendly: Congregation Kol Emeth, Congregation Etz Chayim, and Keddem Congregation. (Our synagogue, Beth Am in neighboring Los Altos Hills, just hired a gay assistant rabbi.)

Anti-gay concerns:
Unfortunately not everything in Palo Alto is all rainbows and glitter. There are several Palo Alto businesses and owners/management that donated significantly to a campaign of lies, hate, bigotry and discrimination in taking rights away from gays and lesbians with Prop 8. Among them are:

• Allegis Capital, venture capital firm
• Bob Anderson State Farm Insurance, insurance and financial services
• D & M Motors, Inc., general car repair
• Lee Aldinger Insurance, insurance services
• Osborn Capital Management, real state developer
• Phillip Fletcher DDS, general dentistry
• Robert Wheatley Properties, real estate developer, home builder
• Willis & Company, commercial property services
• WSJ Properties, real estate management

Back to Work

After three and a half months on disability and almost a total of two and a half weeks in the hospital recovering from colon cancer surgery, I went back to work this week. I am working half-time, four hours a day. My doctor has released me to work until my next and final operation sometime in April.

The operation is not set yet. It depends on the results of test I will need to have before the end of March. The test will check and determine if the small hole in my colon has healed. If everything looks good then the doctor can schedule the operation to take down my ileostomy and reconnect my intestines.

It has been good to get back to the office and do constructive work helping other people.

My husband took the picture of me getting out of the car and returning to work.

Dinner Disasters and Nightmares

As our guests ooo-ed and aaw-ed in the middle of an elegant, multi-course dinner last Sunday (see previous entry), E confessed to one of them (Guest S) about a cooking disaster that had occurred about 20 years ago at a dinner he cooked and she attended. He could tell that something rang a bell by the look in her eyes but that she was not quite remembering what he had re-played in his mind a hundred times since. Two weeks before, E had fixed the same meal again (something he almost never does) in order to prove to himself that the 'jinx' was gone. (The guests at that dinner also ooo-ed and aaw-ed.)

The nightmare dish that hunted his dreams for years involved sea bass and shrimp cooked in parchment (along with various baby veggies, fresh thyme and fennel, saffron, wine, etc.). The recipe called for the packets to be cooked at a very high heat (475F) for a short 10 minutes. Since this was only one of several courses and was not the only time the electric oven was being used, E had decided to use "Pre-Heat" to get the temperature ready as quickly as possible. The problem was, he forgot to switch back to "Bake" (probably given the pre-dinner drinks and wine with all the previous courses). After about 5-7 minutes when he returned to the kitchen from the closed dining area, he noticed smoke coming from the oven. Upon opening the door, to his horror each of the packets was on fire. ("Pre-Heat" uses the broiler to heat the oven.) Panicked, he first stuffed towels under the door crack to the dining room so the other 7 dinner guests would not suspect anything. He then took out the packets, put out each flame (still relatively small ones, but 8 small ones and each growing), and looked in horror at the ashes floating in each dinner packet that were now quite charred. Meticulously and very quickly, he opened all windows and doors to the outside, hand picked out the ashes, cut the packets in a zigzag manner to look stylish and unburned, and tried to rearrange the fish and veggies in each packet to look presentable.

As the guests ate their dinner suspecting nothing (and not really missing the planned presentation of opening the packets in front of each to 'release the aromatic essence'), E noticed in the candlelit room that 'Guest S' next to him (who 20 years later was at our party last Sunday) was trying to push away subtly her shrimp and pieces of her fish and was looking uncomfortable while making glances at her husband. E looked at his own fish more closely (which was hard in the candlelight), and he noticed one of his shrimp was raw! Others did not seem too disturbed, so he remained quiet but did see there was some picking and choosing going on.

For a perfectionist cook like E, this was the worst day of his life. For 20 years he has been concerned every time this same couple has come over that another disaster might happen. Finally, on Sunday in the midst of his Chinese New Year feast, he decided to fess up to Guest S.

This story, told in all the above detail and more over yet another glass of wine all around, led to a whole slew of 'confessions' by our guests of their cooking disasters. One had fixed apple pies for Thanksgiving and had used baking powder instead of flour. Another had made cookies with her sisters for a big family occasion and had grabbed the wrong jar, whereby she put in a cup of salt instead of sugar.

E then told the story how his ex had been fooled into putting her finger in the hole of an ice cream maker by his southern Dad on her first visit to his home over a July 4th holiday. When his Dad walked away laughing at the funny New York girl, she 'out-smarted' him and put a rag in the hole ("I wasn't going to sit there all night and freeze my finger just because he had lost some cork or something"). The result was that his Mom's prized, fresh peach ice cream was served to 20 guests with a very distinct taste of salt because all the salted ice had melted and over-flowed into the ice cream.

But our good Friend D told the funniest story. At a Passover Seder with 30 guests, her homemade Matzo Ball Soup was served with a distinct and not very pleasant odor. (E was there and remembers it all.) Everyone (including lots of kids) gingerly tasted the soup. Most looked up and around at others, not knowing what to say or do. One guest then said, "How wonderful. You must have used a lot of lemon in the chicken soup. It is really different.") Friend D, as cook and hostess, looked perplexed. The rest of us ventured one more sip when all of a sudden Friend D's elderly grandmother shouted at the top of her lungs in a "Fruma-Sarah" like screech: "Don't eat. It's RANCID!" You can imagine every one's faces, especially the host and hostess. (Turns out it WAS rancid. Friend D had been told not to refrigerate her newly made, hot soup until it cooled. But since she finished making it well after bedtime, she left it out all night. Not a good thing for chicken soup. Soup like that does not make you well. It makes you dead.)

So, E's confession and story led to an hour of other stories of cooking disasters -- all in the midst of Course Number Three of the six-course feast we were having.

Just another Sunday dinner

My husband cooked a 6 course, 10 food Chinese New Year Dinner last Sunday night, using 6 different sets of dishes to boot. It was really fun. We had 3 other couples over and the meal lasted for four hours. Most of the dishes Eddie made for the first time.

Cocktails: Pomegranate Champagne Cocktail

1st course: Hot & Sour Soup

2nd course: Drunken Chicken and Snow Peas in Sesame Dressing

3rd course: Sweet-Sour Coconut Shrimp and Thai-Style Cabbage Slaw

4th course: Sesame Noodle Salad

5th course: Hot Sichuan Green Beans, Soy-Braised Mushrooms, and Hoison Turkey with Hot Mustard (the recipe called for pork but Eddie substituted turkey)

6th course/dessert: Mandarin Berry-Almond Float

Friends Finding Us on Facebook

Both E and I have had the experience recently of connecting through Facebook with friends we have not seen (and often not thought of) for 30-40 years. For each of us, this re-discovery has begun by one friend finding us (probably through the Facebook Search function), seeking us out, and then exposing us through his/her list of friends to others who begin to recognize our names and subsequently to 'ping' us for friendship connection.

The experience has been almost over-whelming at times in terms of memories and emotions. Each of us was, to say the least, a bit dorky and 'band-kid-like' in high school. E was very active (e.g., editor two years of the school newspaper; a straight-A student; 1st-chair clarinet; member of the Latin, Teachers of America, and Thespians Clubs); but none of those was in any way "cool" at the time. I was the shy type overall and also active in the band (last-chair trombone) and the school newspaper (feature editor) but not a lot else. So, while we both had plenty of friends, some of the people who are now so eager to link with us as Facebook 'friends' were not really that eager to be seen in the public, high school hallways with us back in the days of yore. I now have more high school “Facebook friends” then friends I had back in high school. Just processing that fact is taking us each a while.

Having said that, we are each feeling very excited about these renewed contacts. For E, most of them are from people two-to-three thousand miles away from us, i.e., mid-America ... Bush/Cheney, anti-Obama country). And, with each contact made, there is a 'coming out' that has to occur. What we are finding is, even with friends connected with VERY conservative religions and positions (e.g., working in a Baptist college in the South), there is a willingness and complete sense of genuineness in wanting to know about us and our gay, married lives and a (via Internet, at least) real caring about who we really are and have become.

This really is overall shocking and has led to both of us having bizarre dreams. Memories of good and bad instances of the past are mixed with present day settings in these dreams. High school buddies and acquaintances are becoming present again in the Land of Slumber. It is all very bizarre ... and exciting.

And then there are the 'shocking' discoveries of past friends (or sometimes their younger siblings, who are also now connecting to us) who are GAY. Who knew? If we had only known then.... What might have led to what? And what admiration we have for one guy who just linked with E today who is living in a small Tennessee town and has on his FB page "married" and "Interested only in men." Wow! Here in California, that is pretty easy to do, but in ****, Tennessee?? Amazing.

We are mid-stream on this story. Every day, it seems, we are each getting new friend requests (and are now starting to peruse the friends of our new contacts to find old acquaintances we can now 'request to friend.' It is mind-blowing how so many of us really look the same, 40 years later. It is also becoming sad that as the pot is stirred and other friends' names come to mind, we find they are not yet on FB; and we cannot thus connect to them.

Like probably many others (in fact, hundreds of millions of others), we are finding Facebook is changing out lives. The iPhone did so. YouTube did so. Google did so. The Internet did so. Can you imagine where we would be without any and all of these?

Mid-February Health Recap

Earlier this week (the day after my birthday), Ed was once again under general anesthesia for about 1.5 hours. Back home the same day, he is feeling a bit 'beat-up' and sore like he had done way too many leg squats. But, the real result is that our surgeon truly believes the final healing can now occur over the next month.

The surgeon reported to me after the surgical procedure lots of pleasure in what he had seen and done. The opening in his lower colon is for sure only a slit at this point, and there was no sign of any lingering infection. He did confirm what he had suspected previously: 'grainy' tissue had developed around the area and was probably making it harder for the final closure to seal and heal. He scraped this tissue away (remember Ed was totally out, which was a good thing). He then brought the colon lip over the muscle below and sewed several temporary stitches. Hopefully, by the time they dissolve in the next month, there will be no more open slit and instead, a firm melding.

So, new predicted time of the final surgery is now sometime between the Giants Opening Day and Tax Day (or early to mid April). In the meantime, Ed will continue his daily hour-plus walks and maintenance of his overall health and healing. (And our gay men’s seder is back on!)

If all goes as planned, you will not hear another surgical update about Ed’s colon from us again until April, when hopefully I can be sending the final couple of messages. We are totally grateful to all of you and also so aware that this journey has been overall shorter and so much easier than what many people with cancer must go through. But, it is a journey for us of learning and life; and its happy result has included so many of you now knowing for sure that your colon is cancer-free!

To all our friends Back East, we wish you some sunshine and slow melting to minimize flooding. To everyone, you are our special Valentines this year.

Also, Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Blogging 1-800-FLOWERS

Eddie and I love having fresh flowers around the house. At least once a week Eddie picks up bouquet of flowers to have on the dinning table or kitchen counter. We also enjoy sending and receiving flowers. I received several beautiful floral arrangements after my cancer surgery.

Multiple times a year we order flowers to be sent for a variety of occasions. The most common are for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, birthdays and get well wishes. We have tried several internet flower delivery services and the one we have used the most has been 1-800-Flowers. Nevertheless, I was still surprised to receive an email offer from them that in exchange for blogging about them, we could receive one of their bouquets.

I have read before that 1-800-Flowers has a strong web-marketing push based on social networks, blogging, twittering, etc.

They are offering FREE weekday delivery that is available at this 1-800-Flowers webpage.

Also see their Facebook Fan page. They offer flower giveaways every week and give special fan-only discounts all the time.

Slow Healing Continues

Since Ed’s last medical/colon update 3 or so weeks ago, we have been riding once again the roller coaster a bit. You may remember we heard at that point the healing of the internal sutures had begun but would take longer than originally planned. Just six days later (on January 18), another visit and exam shocked our doctor that the sutures appeared to have closed up and healing was close to done. This exam was done with a special butt telescope-like instrument as well as by the old fashion digital feel. The doctor and we were all elated.

The doctor was so pleased that he scheduled a visit to the hospital for X-Ray exam and yet another CAT-Scan to confirm all might be ready to go ahead and do the next surgery in mid-Feb. During the next 10 days we got our hopes up, especially since Ed was really feeling well, walking at least an hour each day, going out some for dinner with friends, etc. He was (and is still) spending a huge portion of his day dealing with the ileostomy pouch or 'the bag,' but we were both getting psyched that Mr. Bag would soon be history; and so we laughed at its 'mind of its own' antics and waited for the tests.

You can guess the rest. When liquid under pressure was applied to the internal site while the X-rays were being done last Wednesday, the supposedly sealed site re-opened and the cavity beyond reappeared in the CAT-scan. Our doctor and we were sorely disappointed. He did not have much to say at that time other than 'probably at least two more months.'

In a late-night email the next day, the doctor indicated that he was still studying the pictures with his partner/colleague but that he also had an idea for a "Plan B." Monday he called with the recommendation that Ed come back on the 11th to the hospital for Visit #4 to the operation room, this time with him and his trusted colleague. He believes the site is on its way to healing and might in fact have healed on its own in another few weeks if the forced liquid had not broken the still-flimsy area. He now wants to go in and add a few, dissoluble (i.e., temporary) sutures that will close the opening and hopefully cause it quickly to seal up for good before the sutures go away. With that process, he should be able to tell by mid-March (again with X-Ray and CAT-Scan exams) if the healing is complete. Without this help, he is just not sure at this point if and when the healing would be done on its own, now that it has clearly opened up again.

So, we MIGHT be looking now at surgery around Passover time (mid-to-end-of-March). (That probably means we don't host our usual group of 20 this year.) But, I think we have also learned by now not to count the chicks too soon unless the fat lady is really singing. And even though he says we should still keep our August hiking and kayaking in Scandinavia on the calendar, I am also researching beaches in Hawaii.

Stay tuned for the next movement in this made-for-television soap opera about Ed’s colon.

Mountain Travel Sobek – A Winner

My husband just won a contest sponsored by our favorite adventure travel company, Mountain Travel Sobek (http://www.mtsobek.com). The task was to submit a past travel resolution that would inspire others to travel the world. Here is what he submitted, which was rated the #1 resolution. The entry wins him a free travel duffel bag -- and fame J ...

"Twelve years ago, I resolved to travel in a way that would ensure my three sons would still want to come along, even as they went through the teen years. Trips together to Kenya, Tonga, Fiji, Alaska, Ecuador, Baja, the Alps, and more led to family adventures and memories galore, and to sons in their 20s who now value other cultures and peoples."

Here are several past blogger entries on MTS trips we’ve done in the recent past:

- Hiking the French Alps

http://guydads.blogspot.com/2009/09/hiking-in-french-alps-vacation-p-2.html

- Bavarian Alps hike across Austria

http://guydads.blogspot.com/2007/08/three-weeks-in-germany.html

- Trekking in Peru

http://guydads.blogspot.com/2006/08/back-from-peru.html

- England’s Coast to Coast walk

http://guydads.blogspot.com/2005/08/things-i-learned-in-england.html

Other excellent travel companies we have used in the past include REI Adventures, Bicycle Adventures, Backroads, and the gay adventure travel company, Alyson Adventures.

No iPad for Me. Period.

I don’t think I am going to run out and get an iPad. I already have a sack full of Apple techie toys: an iPod, iPhone and a MacBook laptop. I don’t think I need any thing as intimate as an iPad. The device sounds like it was named by a woman gynecologist but it is no worse than tinkle-sounding Wii. The tech specs are manly enough. It is 9.5 inches long. But at a hefty 1.5 pounds, it might be too heavy to hold with one hand and type with the other.

This is a very funny 3-year-old prophetic video about iPads from MadTV.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eF0y0IfpPU

I can wait until version 2.0 or greater comes out.

FarmVille on FaceBook

I laugh every time I watch this video. Just try not to say “FARMVILLE” after watching this commercial parody. I use to find it very annoying to get Facebook game updates from friends. I glad they let one hide those kinds of applications.

link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odBDAcOEKuI

Prop 8 on Trial

I am finding it very interesting and fascinating to read the live blogging of the Prop 8 trial happening in San Francisco. Several sites and Twitter feeds are reporting from the courtroom. My favorite is the Courage Campaign’s Prop 8 Trial Tickler.

There is also a very funny Twitter feed mocking the protect marriage side at http://twitter.com/protectmawwiage.

My earlier summary of redefining marriage in California.

Our 2009 Theatre "Bests"

Due to Ed's autumn cancer battle, we "only" saw 83 theatre productions in 2009.

Our San Francisco Bay Area Top Ten are the following:

Honorable Mention: "A Civil War Christmas," by Paula Vogel at TheatreWorks

10: "Call Me Madam," by Irving Berlin, Howard Lindsay, Russel Crouse, 42nd Street Moon

9: "Abraham Lincoln's Big Gay Dance Party," by Aaron Loeb, SF Playhouse

8: "Rabbi Sam," by Charlie Varon, The Marsh

7: "Souvenir, A Fantasia on the Life of Florence Foster Jenkins," Stephen Temperley, ACT

6: "First Day of School," Billy Aronson, SF Playhouse

5: "My Name is Asher Lev," Aaron Posner, Chaim Potok, Marin Theatre Company

4: "Macbeth," William Shakespeare, Shotgun Players

3: "Yellow Face," David Henry Hwang, TheatreWorks

2: "Brief Encounter," Noël Coward, Emma Rice, ACT

1: "In the Next Room, or the Vibrator Play," Sarah Ruhl, Berkeley Rep

Our Out of Town Top 5 (out of a possible 19 seen):

Honorable Mention: "The Glorious Ones," by Lynn Ahrens, Stephen Flaherty, at BoHo Theatre, Chicago

5: "God of Carnage," Yasmina Reza, Christopher Hampton, Jacobs Theatre, New York

4: "Next to Normal," Tom Kitt, Brian Yorkey, Booth, New York

3: "Fedra, Queen of Haiti," J. Nicole Brooks, Lookingglass, Chicago

2: "Our Town," Thornton Wilder, Second Stage, New York

1: "Waiting for Godot," Samuel Beckett, Studio 54, New York

And of the 11 Operas we went to, our Top 4 operas:

4: "Tosca," Puccini, SF Opera

3: "Porgy and Bess," Gershwin, SF Opera

2: "Ernani," Verdi, Chicago Lyric Opera

1: "Il Triticco," Puccini, SF Opera

We actually only saw a few productions we did not like (e.g., "West Side Story" in New York and half of the ACT productions in SF). There are many, many others not mentioned above that we really enjoyed and thought were quite excellent. Our complete list of 83 shows we saw in 2009.

On to 2010, but with the caveat that it will be almost mid-year before Ed is healed completely and we are going full steam. In the meantime, there is always Netflix.

Another Year - Another Birthday

Also born January 9th, the same day as me are:

choreographer George Balanchine, president Richard Nixon, singers: Joan Baez, Jimmy Page, David Johansen, Crystal Gayle, Steve Harwell, and Dave Matthews, cartoonist Chic Young, playwright Brian Friel, actors: Bob Denver and Susannah York.

New Year's Post Surgery Update

Happy New Year to Everyone:

Our 2010 is beginning with Ed's being MUCH better overall. In the past couple of weeks, we have been getting out most days to see a movie and even to attend two performances of theater. Every day for the past few, we are walking the length of downtown Palo Alto and have even had lunch downtown a couple of times. And for the first time since his surgery on November 13, Ed slept through the entire night last night without being so uncomfortable that he had to get up 1-2 times per night for 30-60+ minutes of sitting up, walking around, etc. (Hopefully, more such nights will follow.)

However, like in most home redecoration projects, we just found out yesterday that the date we have been keeping in the visionary forefront of April 1 when all this would be over -- that day is too optimistic. We visited the doctor in SF yesterday; and he discovered that what was once "a hole" in the internal suture location (leading to the cavity and recurring abscess build-up) is now "a slit." What pleases the doctor is that the healing is occurring. There is now no sign of the abscess at all, and his/our hopes are that none will reappear (knock on wood). But, the period for enough healing to occur in order to schedule the next surgery is going to be at least another 1-2 months longer. That means that the surgery we thought originally would happen in the next couple of weeks will now likely not happen until the end of March/first of April. That puts his final recovery into mid-to-late May, if all goes well.

So, we are very pleased with his current condition and the signs of internal healing; and we are sorely disappointed (but not surprised) that the total time of this process is now longer than original estimates. (See, it sounds just like news from the general contractor, right?)

One thing the doctor did offer as a possibility: If the signs of healing continue and if there are no recurrences of abscess (and thus no need for reinserting another drainage tube), then Ed might be able to return to work sometime in February for a few weeks as he waits for final healing.

So, in case you're wondering (and did not see this on Facebook), here are our holiday/Oscar worthy movie-watching results, to-date:
- Most innovative, intriguing story telling: A Single Man, Precious, (500) Days of Summer, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
- Most Inspiring and Walk-Out-With-a-Smile Producing: Invictus, The Blind Side
- Most Beautifully Filmed: Young Victoria
- Most Fun to Watch but Most Disturbing after Thinking about It: An Education
- Most Fun and Sad at Same Time: Up in the Air
- Most Fun for Action and Fantasy but Not Much Else: Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, Inglourious Basterds
- Most Enjoyable Movies Made for Adults: It's Complicated, Broken Embraces

- Most "War is Hell" movie of the year: The Hurt Locker

Again, we cannot thank everyone enough for your continued cards, messages, visits, and other acts of kindness. They mean so much to both of us.

Love to all,
Eddie (& Ed)

PS: Many of you keep asking about me, which I appreciate. I have learned much through this process. Having always been in a life-partner relationship where there was much sharing of life's duties, I certainly have found it pretty over-whelming at times to do 'everything' plus the added duties of care-giving and client-maintenance. At the same time, spending this concentrated time with Ed in our home has been wonderful in many ways; and he is so appreciative of the every day, little things I do for him, that I have actually enjoyed (in some sort of perverted way) the process of doing and planning daily special surprises for him. I am tired a lot; but compared to what many care-givers face, this has really been a piece of cake. I also have loved sending these messages. It is like I am on the couch, and all of you are my therapists. So, thank you!

Winter Solstice Update

Happy Winter Solstice, Everyone:
Our latest news flash is that Ed returned home late Saturday afternoon, pumped anew with antibiotics and complete with a new tube that will hopefully keep any abscess from once again building up and preventing healing. Upon returning, he is trying now to stay upright and vertical much more in order to allow gravity to promote ongoing draining. He is now coming downstairs for all meals, for example.

His main, current issue is that, in his words, it feels all the time like he is sitting on a bed of sharp pebbles (with some of them going up his bottom). He is finding it difficult to find a spot where he can be comfortable for long. We have a feeling this is just going to be the state of affairs for most of the next couple or so weeks while this tube for draining (and its accompanying stitches holding it in place) remains in place. But, the tube is the key to healing, it seems; so I guess, no pain, no gain.

Our door is open again for visitors, for any one still in town and not consumed by the holidays. But even for those who are busy now, he will still be here all during January-April and would love to see folks along the way.

Our big hope is that nothing more happens in the next ten days. Our Doctor is leaving for what I am sure is a much-deserved holiday. While he has left instructions to the on-call surgeons of the Emergency Room what to do if the roller coaster reverses its direction, we are hoping that we are on the flat-to-rising portion of the ride for the foreseeable future.

For those of you who have already celebrated Hanukkah, enjoy the movies and Chinese food on Friday and seeing friends at the cinema that you have not seen since High Holy Days.

For those of you celebrating Christmas, please have the merriest, warmest, most loving holiday ever with all your friends and family (and watch the sugar highs).

For those of you celebrating Kwanza, may the candles' lights inspire you and yours as you celebrate the values that make your family special and strong.

For those of you celebrating none of the above, find some quiet spot and reflect on the close of a decade that many of us are happy to see pass and vision a new decade where no Bush is elected to any office, anywhere.

With continued thanks for all your support, messages, and caring,
/Eddie