Thursday, September 08, 2005

Kid Daze

Who could guess they would turn out that way!
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids?
What's the matter with kids?
What's the matter with kids today?
--Kids from Bye Bye Birdie
The high school kid (HSK) came home Monday night after visiting some friends. He made it in by his curfew time of 11:30. He ran up stairs and slammed his bedroom door. This behavior is not too unusual. He has done it on occasion. An hour later he wakes us up with retching noises from the bathroom. The kid is drunker than a skunk. While holding the toilet, puking rum into the bowl, he denies that he is drunk or even had a drink. He doesn’t know what we are talking about! The next morning he still denies it. What is it with these kids that they just lie, deny and argue?
E spent a good part of Tuesday talking to the parents of the other boys involved. Everyone seems to be at a loss of what to do. Most of the boys have been grounded for previous infractions. HSK and his friends have enough grounding time to last well into their twenties! In addition, many of the kids have been told not to interact with each other because of the bad influence of the other.
The good news is that E has made contact with the other parents. Most of the parents are concerned about the same things…the welfare and safety of the kids. There tends to be a lot of hesitancy for the parents to talk amongst each other. Hopefully this group will now stay in contact when the issues come up again.
There is one thing E and I don’t understand. When we were kids and got caught doing wrong by our parents the first thing we usually did was to burst into tears and start blubbering we’re sorry. There was no denying or arguing. What happened to that?
In other kid news, the ex-wife calls Tuesday morning. The youngest kid (6 yrs) has fallen off the jungle gym at school and broken her wrist. She is doing OK and will have a cast for several weeks. However, she is the daring and adventuresome one. Can’t wait to see what she is going to be like as a teenager.


db said...

First let me say that I don't have children so I may be talking out of turn but I've always felt that punishment has to be felt. A friend of ours has a 16 year old who is going through similar problems. The funny thing is that he's cool with JAB and me but he's awful to his parents, disrespectful, drinking and doing weed. Finally our friends got sick of it. At first they did something that I thought was stupid, they took 2 weeks off from work each and personally drove him to school and picked him up and drove him home. They took everything out of his room except for his bed and clothes, no computer, no playstation, no mp3 player, nothing. He did his homework at the library with his mom and dad sitting next to him. That worked for about 6 months but then he got around his friends again and started slipping back into his old habits. In our opinion there was a part of us who told them that boys are boys and they do stupid things but our friends weren't having that. He came home one hour past his curfew one too many times and the next thing we knew they took a home equity loan out and sent him to boot camp for 3 months. Somewhere in North Carolina or something. From what we were told he cried and begged but they held their ground. He came back a different person. He's a junior now and he's by no means perfect but the drinking and drugs have stopped and he seems to be more respectful to his parents. Not sure if that would work in your case but something to think about. Good luck to both of you. I was a very moody and unhappy 17 year old. Thank God I was afraid to drink.

Scotty said...

My daughter and I JSUT talked about this last night. SHe was invited to a party Saturday with her boyfriend and she opted NOT to go because drinking was involved and since it is NOT a big deal to her to get to drink (I allow supervised glasses of wine here and there at the house when it is just me and the kids) she didn't want to take part.

I told her that if the time ever DID come that she went and then drank...or even if SHE didn't drink but her date DID? TO Call me and I will come pick her questions asked. She is 17 (will be in a month) so it would be tough to expect perfection from her. All I ask is honesty with me and it seems to work.

We have had a few incidents but overall she it pretty up front with me...sometimes TOO up front!

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