TSA Inspects and Fondles Gay Dad’s Meat

Everyone has to have a TSA story these days, right? Two weeks ago while traveling home from a family visit in Tennessee, we were pulled aside by TSA agents in Nashville and Denver. Right there in front of everyone in the security screening area, TSA agents requested to see our meat. So we pulled it out and showed it to them.
E’s father sent us back with 20 pounds of frozen pork sausages to give to one of his grandsons. Every year E's dad buys a hog or two and has it butchered and processed into packets of sausages that he gives to family and business customers.
Upon leaving Tennessee, we packed our frozen pork packages into our carry-on luggage for the trip home and proceeded through airport security. Our bag was pulled aside. TSA personnel made us pull out our meat. They had to verify that it was really frozen meat. They also checked it for explosives by rubbing their special residue cloth on the outside packaging. (While our sausages aren't explosive, they are spicy hot!) Once they were sure it was safe we were allowed to put our meat away and continue to the boarding gate.
Nobody touched our junk, just our meat. That’s our story.